Thursday, January 22, 2015

Adoption in the Raw~ {WHAT Breaks Your Heart?}

 I guess because EK finished up her school work before the others,
she went digging through our home videos~
and instead of FIAR activity time, we had Life lessons time.

As I sat reliving Amelia's birth, I overheard their conversations processing what they watched.
~you had Mimi in your tummy
~is that little girl Nana
~ where is Gigi
~we're in China
~they didn't GET them like us
~who are those people (Scott's parents gone before they came home)
~look at Memommy and Sissy
Just a beautiful picture of redemption for me.

An hour later, still watching~
It is times like this when adoption thoughts get deep 
and soulful... and I hold my littles each extra tight
so they can FEEL the Forever they now live.

The reality of their loss takes my heart over the edge sometimes
and I would never have wished it on them even if it meant me not being their mom.
{Now THAT is RAW for me!}
I would have chosen their first parents getting the joy I get every single day
that's not how life turned out for them SO...

We make adoption and loss and hard things a normal okay kind of talk
every single day they want to talk about it.
They ask questions and I answer as best I can
 with my broken/thankful momma heart all rolled into one.

I don't know all the answers and probably never will
but I want them to know...
 they can ALWAYS ask 
and I will ALWAYS
walk through the good,
 the bad, 
the beautiful, 
and the raw right along with them.

I recently listened to a sermon by Andy Stanley @ North Point Community Church
He said,
This is that time of year when we become painfully aware of where we are not, who we are not, and what we need to do differently. Traditionally, the new year is a season of self-absorption. It’s all about what we can do to make ourselves better people. The result is that churches, health clubs, debt counselors, and vitamin shops do a booming business.
But we tend to forget that the people we respect the most didn’t devote their lives to becoming the best version of themselves. They devoted their lives to making a difference in the world . . . or in someone’s world.
Learning to give myself away has been the biggest lesson in my adoption journey.
Once we chose this path for our lives, 
our commitment to self was sidetracked.

Andy's key question was~
WHAT breaks your heart?

The beginnings of THESE~
is WHAT breaks my heart!
The choice of their first parents to let them go.
The time they each spent abandoned all alone until found.
Being taken to orphanages where they would live until chosen.
Waiting, waiting waiting.
Cold, hungry, crying, sick with our love to wrap them up.
Being taken to a scary place one day and given to total strangers.
Thrown into a whole new life with no experiences to hinge it all on.

I could go on and on and on but I'll stop here.
Our children have so much to overcome and
so much to live for as well.
Watching the videos today opened up even more opportunities for love to grow
through all the things they have to process.

At one point in the sermon, Andy told a story of he and his wife having a moment
when they broke down over the question~
WHAT if we had MISSED this?

Scott and I feel the same way about ALL our children...
Brings us to SOBS when we think~
{what if we had missed the 5 births and the 6 gotchas we witnessed}

It may be the hardest calling in the world,
but I wouldn't trade my life for anything in the world!!!
{Good, bad, beautiful, and raw}

SO I ask YOU today~
WHAT Breaks Your Heart?
There are 153 million orphans in the world.
Does THAT break your heart?
Please take time to pray how God could change not only the world of a child
but also the blessing you might be missing.
What if you miss it?
Believe me!!!
You DON'T want to!

Nehemiah 1:11a
Lord, let your ear be attentive to the prayer of this your servant 
and to the prayer of your servants who
delight in revering your name.

Nothing would make me happier than helping YOU begin a journey
toward YOUR child waiting somewhere in this world.
I am just a comment, email, or call away.
I will help you begin to mend hearts!!!


  1. Yep that is why we are going back. I would choose laundry up to my elbows everyday if it means one less orphan.

  2. Oh my heart!!! My heart breaks for the same things. My sweet one is very slowly beginning to make some connections. It is heart wrenching.

  3. Sharon such a good post. Love you friend. lobe your heart!!!!

  4. Your words touch my soul. I have been so blessed by my first adoption. Praying I can do it again. You are an inspiration.

  5. Sharon, Haven't taken the time to comment lately...but this post really touched me. Been a hard day for us as we work to get Tate home, so this was especially timely. Our first moment like the one you had today was when our oldest son (adopted from Korea) was five and I was pregnant - it was the first time he realized he had been in his birth mother's tummy. He had never seen it that way before then. YES - it breaks our hearts.
    Love following your blog and your beautiful, beautiful family! Thanks for sharing your heart today. So touching.

  6. all so very true!! hugs my friend!

  7. the pain of having a child that can't process her feelings, can't process her thoughts, and can't verbalize how she feels is so overwhelming, and RAW, and HARD!!!!!
    How do you help a girl who cognitively knows some things, like she wants to be like the other 16 year olds, but doesn't know how to be like them, and probably never will be able to catch up to them, and then on her down days, when sadness overwhelms her, WOW, I am in over my head with this-HELP!!!

  8. SO SO TRUE & we are all so Blessed to have other adoptive families just like us to travel the road together...


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